night beach

This night my child, her dad, and I went to China Beach. We watched as the tide came in. I ran the length of the beach with glee calling out in the voice of a little child: running, running, running!
We raced. We stomped the seafoam to bits. We climbed the rocks and got scared as the waves broke around us and flooded below.
It was such a sweet expenditure of pent up energy. We'd had a very tense time in the prior days. And now for a few moments we were whole, together, happy.

lowtide

lowtide

a lull settles over me

not just as i stand on the shore

the tide of my life is low right now

and that is a good thing

there's a calm and steadiness i have rarely known

i'm grounded, safe

able to embark on deeper explorations

This is what you eat when it's stupid hot

It was ssooo hot here today. And when I say that I am aware that I may have become a spoiled Californian because the high today was 89 degrees. That's a cool breeze in late July where I come from. To be fair, I don't have air conditioning (because I live in the Bay Area so why?) and the terrible wind of last week went out to sea or something. So, up in my third-story sunny nook it was warmish and the air was completely still so I was a little miserable. And I needed sustenance before bed.
If you too are a little miserable and cooking is the very last thing you can consider doing but you must eat, treat your taste buds to the best of what summer has to offer in utter simplicity and celerity.

Best dinner when it's nearly too hot to even eat

ripe avocado
excellent fresh summer tomatoes
sour dough toast
chopped fresh garlic
salt
black pepper

Mash that soft avocado into the toast. Add chopped garlic to taste. Slice sweet summer tomatoes and press into avocado. Grind salt and black pepper over. You could add salad greens on top (frisee would be great) but I wanted to fall into the other flavors without any '"watering down." I could also imagine adding a few drops of balsamic vinegar.
Eat this toast as an open-faced sandwich in front of an open window once the sun drops and there's a blessedly cool breeze again. This was the part where I said out loud to no one: God Bless the Earth!
This taste of summer will make all the sweating and stickiness worth it.

You're welcome.

Mastering the Art of ....

I just finished reading Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen. I cannot remember the last time a read a book cover to cover. I have been in a reading funk for a long time, unable to stay with a book until the end either because it hasn't captured me or my life is simply too chaotic for a book to win out for my attention. This is not for a lack of trying. My e-reader and library card have been well exercised in my quest to become a reader again, to lengthen my attention span.
It helped the reading of Julie and Julia that I was sick in bed and off work for four days. That also hasn't been the case in a long while, blessedly. Actually, this is the first time in my life I have had a job which can go on just fine without me and gives me paid sick time--which I used ALL of this week. I'm okay with that. I'm in a phase where I utilize my resources as needed rather than fret over some possible future time I might need them more, hording in fear. I was ill, feeling awful and had just moved into my own apartment after a year and four months of being a nomad of sorts--using whatever sick time I had seemed like the perfect use of that resource right then.
I wanted to read Julie and Julia because I fancy myself a foodie and since regaining my own kitchen  I have been super excited to savor the joys and frustrations of cooking again. What I found in reading the book is a writer I can relate to. Her style, vocabulary and humor reminded me how much I enjoy--and have been neglecting--my own writing. So, in between reading jags, I was composing parts of posts or titles and picturing the floorplans I'd draw to accompany my stories of moving into a teeny tiny apartment after a year and a half on the lam.
What I didn't get from the book is inspiration to cook French food. Julie managed to make that sound like a highly unfavorable if downright disgusting task. Also, beware that some of the descriptions of the act of cooking and the state of Julie and Eric's apartment make this book not always a great meal-time read. However, if your chest is full of infectious mucus and your head feels like it is in a vice, you may not be bothered by the graphic depiction of butchering a live lobster. I was so miserable I rather enjoyed the lobster scene although I did find the deboning a whole duck rather more than I could bear. Perhaps I was too well over my lovely summer cold by the time I got to that part.
I have to say for all the glory in which Pate de Canard en Croute is held, I did an image search and thought, "this is the weirdest thing in food I have ever seen." It's a loaf of a whole duck (sans bones) stuffed with other meat and fat (as though duck isn't fatty enough) surrounded by a pastry crust. One slices it just like meat loaf or bread. Perhaps I was vegetarian too long or too underexposed to different foods in my formative years but I could not find anything about that dish desirable. I certainly am NOT French enough to want to make that or nearly anything else in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Sans boeuf bourguignon and coq au vin of course. Which I gather from Julie (or was it Julia?) are essentially the same thing.  

Broccoli rabe, sauteed mushrooms, polenta

I have noticed that despite--or because of--how much I enjoy writing and sharing my stories, there's always a resistance that comes when I think about sitting down at the drawing table and getting the words out. So today, my one day in which I don't have to leave the house for a job, I had every intention of doing some serious writing. I have an actual writing assignment and then I have the back log of blog posts about the Nook that are nagging me. And yet I spent the morning puttering, telling myself I had to clean and prepare my space for creative work. I took so long after breakfast reading, puttering and preparing that once I thought I was ready to get to the keyboard I was vaguely hungry and decided I better make lunch. Alas, mid-day on my one day off I am finally fed, have enjoyed two cups of coffee from the beloved AeroPress, have a fairly clean apartment and am at the old drawing board. This, of course is my primer exercise. But I'll add to it an image of a simple dish you might enjoy as much as I did and then move on to tackling a strategy for a more regular and disciplined regimen of writing and posting.
Probably the best thing I got from reading Julie and Julia was the value of committing oneself to a project with a goal and some parameters. Now, whether or not I can make myself do that, we shall see. But, like Julie Powell was before she got her book deal, I am a secretary with little job satisfaction who would like another reason to get out of bed everyday besides following the status quo and going to an office to seem like a typical member of the American middle (?) class to collect a paycheck to pay the rent on an outer borough apartment that is less than ideal. So, let's get to it!

(Somewhat) Enjoying the Bittersweetness

Self portrait with coffee grinder

I have landed. I finally signed a lease and have become a truly committed ;-) resident of the San Francisco Bay Area.
Nothing about this move has gone as planned and moving day was no exception. On the bright side, the hurdles and potholes have made me slow down. So, I am finding myself with time and space I didn't expect and with that comes introspection. I find I am missing people I haven't been in touch with for a while, wishing to reach out and share the news and afraid it will fall flat or be awkward. So, I do nothing but look out my window across the bay while I wash dishes.
I think I am somewhat enjoying the bittersweetness of not having anyone to share this milestone with. I have people, but this is a really big deal for me and not so much for anyone else. With one giant exception.
My teenage daughter is moving here to live with me in a few weeks. However, right now her milestone is about parting with the only place she's ever lived, saying goodbye to her brother and sister, father and friends. She's dealing with really different feelings than I am.
So, I savor my accomplishment by myself and wish I wasn't savoring it myself and yet feel sorta glad I am because I wouldn't want my experience to be watered down or colored by another's thoughts or feelings.

Okay, now that I have had that out, I'll get down to the business of describing the experience of renting a tiny apartment and furnishing it. Things won't get really interesting until the kiddo gets here but in the meanwhile I'll post some floor plans, photos and a glance at my process for seeking and acquiring appropriate, multi-functional furniture. Stay tuned and in prep maybe check out LifeEdited.

Rest in the Waiting

This week I read two bits of wisdom on waiting. This is a timely message for me.

I celebrated my first anniversary since moving to California last week. That brought on a serious case of reflection and gratitude. I thought about and reached out to all the friends and strangers who have helped me along the way. I even thanked an ex-boyfriend that hurt me for what he brought to my life before the time of hurt.
I also realized I have been applying for jobs here for nearly two years. Many, many, many jobs. Many rejections. A few -- some enviable -- interviews.

What was remarkable to me about this was that I thought of it as a neutral fact. Somehow my angst and frustration have subsided. I have even felt the addictive rush of knowing that opportunity may knock at any moment. The tingle that comes with believing my fortune can change for the better in an instant is bigger than the frustrations of working an unfulfilling, low-paying, for-now job and all the feelings that come with that.

Perhaps it's the time in my life. Perhaps it's being on the other side of a traumatic year. Perhaps it's being in the San Francisco Bay Area post-recession. This is a place of growth and innovation, creation and -- above all else -- possibility. I feel the pulse and it moves me.

So, I realized, when my ship does come in, when opportunity knocks and I get a chance to finally shine super brightly, things are gonna get busy. There will be flurry of activity. A new job, new routine, different commute, bigger paycheck opening new doors for better housing, new work-mates and friends, more decisions to make and things to learn. The expansive time will come again and be hectic and exciting.

So, for now, I can chill in the ebb of the tide. The calm. I can rest and get ready. Prepare, relax, and wait.

Coming Up On A Year

soundtrack these last couple weeks:

Dreamers by Savoir Adore

Forever Young cover by Youth Group

It's Amazing by Jem

Life In a Northern Town by The Dream Academy

No One by Alicia Keys

and more recently, some Classics:

Eye In the Sky by The Alan Parsons Project

Fool In the Rain by Led Zeppelin

Me and Bobbie McGee by Janis Joplin

I'll start by saying my balance sheet is in the black. I know, that is totally boring. It's the state of my nation right now. My dreams of moving to San Francisco and landing an awesome, fulfilling and financially rewarding job haven't fully materialized yet. However, I am working a full time, perm gig with adequate (for being sans dependent child and renting a room) pay plus benefits. For the first time in a very long time I am making more money than I am spending. This has been the case for three out of the past five months with one month breaking even. This means if all factors remain basically the same, in another five months I'll be in significantly less debt. I know, I know.... Ssoooo boring.
Perhaps stability and digging out of debt is laying a foundation? Perhaps I'm preparing the soil and planting seeds now for a blossoming and harvest to come? We'll see in another six months, eh?

And you'll fall, yes you will hit a wall
But get back on your feet
And you'll be stronger and smarter

In the meanwhile, I continue keeping a finger on the pulse of the job market here. I keep looking at job alerts. I return phone calls from recruiters. I have honed my resume, zeroed in on my skill set and can now articulate what my ideal job is. So, again, I'm laying a foundation or maybe even framing the structure?
Going after your dreams isn't in actuality as romantic and inspirational as it sounds. There's a lot of hard work and sacrifice in it. And then there's the self doubt. In my head there's chatter:
"Maybe you should quit your job so you can dedicate all your time to landing a job you really want." 
"Why not quit your job and take temp gigs and short term contracts, at least that way you are getting exposure and learning new things."
"You'll never land the job you want so now what?"
"You have it pretty good so why can't you be happy?"
And on and on and on.
Which is why I track my debt to income ratio and bike to work way too early in the morning and make the most of my days off. Making dreams come true is hard work and takes time. Patience + persistence is the formula I have figured out. Those two elements in the right proportion is the key to success, I am certain. Am I applying the elements in the right proportion yet or not? Only time will tell.

And then California tried to kick my &ss

There's some truth in the song title California Dreamin'. I've met a lot of people in San Francisco that moved here as a young adult to pursue or follow a dream. Silicon Valley, especially, is full of myths and legends. From Gold Rush days to the second tech boom (bubble?) of the 20-teens, California has offered a possibility of riches more seductive than perhaps anywhere else in the U.S. And many, many people have heard the call.

I am no exception. I was seduced. For me the draws were the creative innovation in business in addition to fulfilling a long time dream, the weather, the arts and culture, and a relationship. I moved from a place where change happens real slow and I never seemed to be on the inside of the great new enterprises or the well funded organizations. I figured I could stay and continue to struggle to make it or go to the center of growth in America and try to make it.

I'm still trying to make it. Let's see, I landed here on March 11. That's three months + a week ago. I had five weeks of temp work at a good rate that kept me in the black. But now my funds and patience are wearing thin again. And then California tried to kick my ass.

Last weekend I was hosting a friend visiting from Arizona. We stayed at an Airbnb in Oakland. We both had attended a conference there and wanted to support the local economy and preserve some of our own cash by staying in Oakland rather than San Francisco. After a day and evening of fun and food in San Francisco, we heading back to Oakland where we were mugged. These two men approached us from behind and demanded our bags. It was violating and scary. Not to mention inconvenient. The hassle was amplified by AT&T's outrageous lack of problem-solving. They were unwilling to help my friend and I replace our phones without ID so we could handle all the other logistics related to the loss of our credit and debit cards, IDs, etc. It's one thing when something like this happens where you know people and places but when you are new to a place or on vacation, you have very limited resources.

I'm not going to lie, my first reaction was to collect all my things and head back to Arizona. At least in my home town I know where the dangers are. In big cities you aren't intimately familiar with the dangers are potentially anywhere and everywhere. I took that for granted. I brought my acceptance and trust instead of my caution and vigilance.

As the week wore on and I kept previously scheduled appointments and a job interview and as my life started to recover with replacement credit cards, ID and phone arriving I felt less like bailing. Additionally the wisdom coming to me right now seems to be saying, "Stay the course."

I'm reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed. It's Cheryl's account of her attempt to hike the Pacific Crest Trail by herself. She runs into a lot of obstacles. These often seem insurmountable. And yet, each time she comes up against one of these obstacles she realizes the only thing to do is put one foot in front of the other and continue toward her goal. Nothing goes as she planned and she is flexible, abandoning parts of the trail when the risks seem too great. Basically when her life is in peril she chooses to preserve it. Other than that she endures physical pain, danger, dehydration and more, never giving up.

This reminds me of another piece of wisdom from this week coming from Ashton Kutcher (bet you didn't expect that). In an award acceptance speech he says to an audience of teenagers, "Opportunity looks a lot like hard work." He explains how he got where he is by working hard at each job. That essentially we create our own opportunties through how we live and work.

So, here I am, a stranger in a strange place. I'm a few friends stronger. My professional network is growing and I'm continuing to work hard to create opportunities so I can succeed here. I want what so many others want: to be able to look back and know I tried my damnedest to get what I want from this life.

An act of optimism

Moving to a new place from my familiar home is much harder than I could have understood. The hardest part is the loneliness that comes with not knowing more than a few people in a city of millions. It's becoming a small fish in a very large pond after being a whale in a bucket for years.

I lived in Tucson my whole life and had made many acquaintances especially in the two years prior to my relocation. I had a job that put me in the public eye and required me to meet and get to know many civic leaders, business owners and others. I was a community manager and spent a large portion of my time raising awareness of the organization that I worked for. That meant I was raising awareness of myself as a representative of that organization.

Now I am a face in the crowd and never bump into people I know while out getting a pint or catching some rays at the park on a sunny day. I don't get random hugs or high-fives.

I realized with certainty the second week I was here that had I not been intensely optimistic about this move I never would have made it. If I could have had an inkling of the psychological challenge of having so much time on my hands and struggling through shyness to meet people, I doubt I would have made this move. Perhaps I still would have moved but to a place where I have more people. When I set my sights on this move, a familiar  community was not my concern. It is San Francisco specifically that I am drawn to. Its climate and culture, architecture and landscape. Its big city energy and seemingly endless opportunities for innovation, creativity, work and play.

I do recommend–when you decide to move someplace new to pursue a dream–you move to a place with wonderful places to walk. Walking outside can do wonders for your mental health.

Writing the next chapter

Photo credit: Purple Nickel Studio

I landed in San Francisco a few weeks ago.

How did I get from beginning to start over to quitting my job, selling or packing everything I own, and moving to another city? I just decided to stop giving 100% to what I didn't really want. Thank you, Danielle LaPorte.

For months I felt there was something important missing from my daily life. I loved my work and felt strongly that I was contributing positively to my community. I was making an important difference and yet it wasn't enough. In part, it wasn't enough financially. The work load was out of balance with the reward. More importantly, I could not continue to help build on another person's dream.

My view of life changed drastically when my father died. I suddenly realized how finite life really is. And, more than that, how finite good health is. That message was strongly reinforced earlier this year when an acquaintance of mine fell ill and died. Jacob was my age (mid thirties) and healthy. He developed pneumonia and died. So, I decided I better start moving away from making things happen for others and begin figuring out how to make my own dreams come true.

No doubt there were many influences, moments, choices and feelings that brought me to be sitting in the San Francisco Public Library writing a new blog post. I will try to unpack all of that and capture my journey moving forward here.

I am now writing the next chapter–literally and figuratively. Thanks for joining me.

Catalogue raisonné

Works on paper from the later days of my art school experience and beyond

lithograph

monoprint

monoprint

monoprint

monoprint

monoprint

Watercolors on oatmeal paper, post graduation

watercolor

watercolor

The Reason Why

I am reading Chris Guillebeau's 279 Days to Overnight Success. One thing he stresses early on in this short, free ebook about how to become a successful blogger is to clearly answer the "reason why" question. Why am I blogging? Why should you read my blog? And, what's in it for you, anyway?
So far you have seen that I like to highlight and review restaurants, cafes, bars and the like. Those reviews pepper an otherwise fairly personal tale of where I am right now. Do you have to be a 30-something single mom to relate to my story? I hope not. Do you have to love food? Well, maybe.
Inspiration to recreate myself and my life and break out of the cage of conformity I have put myself in is the reason I revised this blog. The reason anyone should read it is yet to emerge for me. The plan for how this fits in with my transformation is unknown. Not planning is kind of part of the 'new me.'
If you keep following and reading my posts you'll see with me how that works out.
And, I invite you to tell me why you are reading this.

How to deal with the self doubt

It happens. You start to think you can't do it or some iteration of, "What are you thinking?"
Since I studied with a teacher who came from science to meditation I have practiced feeling what I feel and not obsessing on it. I learned from Skillfully Aware that I and the world are constantly changing things.
Neurologically, we are recording devices. We have been imprinted with everything we have experienced even if we were not aware of it at the time.
There is a movie playing in my head. There's a voice in there that sometimes says things that are comforting but mostly things that bring me down. I have found that the harder I try to not feel something or hear the talk in my head, the worse it gets. If I just turn and lean right into the feelings, if I tune in and listen to the talk in my head, the feelings and the talk pass or quite down. The me inside my head is like a toddler. The mini-me in just wants attention. And when I give myself attention the mini-me looks sheepishly as if to say, 'Oh, hi. Uh, nothing.'
 

I make things

There is a whole back story I won't tell now but I recently rediscovered a skein of fancy yarn my dad gave me two or three Christmas' ago. I remember thinking at the time, "Weird, Dad. Thanks." That's because he liked to give what he liked to give. Know what I mean? Things that he liked or at least understood. Although there is a rich history of needle craft in our family, including among some of the men, yarn is not something my dad knows much about.

So, I rediscovered this yarn and did a quick YouTube search for "how to knit with..." and came up with a video about ribbon yarn. I wasn't totally sure that is what I had but a few minutes into the first video, the British woman showed a yarn engineered just like what I had! It's flat and has a cord attached along one edge.... I'll add a picture. There you go!

I learned from this lady in England how to knit with this fancy yarn properly to end up with a gorgeous ruffled scarf! It's fun and fast. This is part of my "I make things" revival.

I also recently did some finishing work on a tapestry I ended my time at the University of Arizona with. That piece is a work of art. Knitting is not what I consider high art, but right now it is more accessible to me than painting, weaving and ceramics. 'Finishing' the tapestry means getting it ready to hang properly. It is an interpretation of what is commonly believed to be Vincent Van Gogh's last work, Crows Over Wheatfield (pictured here).

Although I don't love all of his work, there is something about some of his paintings that speaks to me. Impressionism in general is of interest to me since I love texture. Interpreting thick brushstrokes in fiber makes perfect sense to me. The colors, too, of this particular work are jewel-toned and intense. Garish, some art historians say. I don't know about that. If he hadn't taken his own life shortly after creating this painting would anyone call is 'garish'? I think it is luminous and beautiful.

When I was at the Carnegie Museum of Art in 2002-ish I came to the Impressionist section, spied a mural-sized Monet and thought, "Oh, yes. Monet." Then I spotted a tiny Van Gogh I had never seen before and I got chills. I had the experience of thinking, "He touched that!" I couldn't name the painting, don't even remember it enough to describe it. Just seeing it, laying my eyes one something he laid his eyes on, he created, just stopped me in my tracks.

Any time I travel I try to take in some art whether it's local or international. In April I went to SFMOMA and enjoyed the largest Rothko I'd ever seen. In June, I was privileged to see a huge Pollock at the Munson Institute in Utica, NY. Munson was also showing an exhibit of works from The Warhol which I had already seen in Pittsburgh some years back. And, I am lucky enough to live in a place where the arts are highlight appreciated, Tucson.

I'm starting to think of myself less as an artist and more of a maker-of-things. It does not have to be art, per se, but I love to make things, build and create. Hence, this blog and my carefully curated Instagram account. What do you create?

Dear Health Insurance Company

God bless the organization I work for which pays the lions share of my health insurance premium. My employer is thoughtful about doing business with companies that do right by the community. However, seven months into my stint as a thirty-something covered by heath insurance I am about to opt out of health insurance coverage. This is a serious consideration for me not only because I am managing allergies and asthma with on-going shots and medicine but because I have a child. Here's my letter to my health insurance company:

Dear Blue Cross Blue Shield of Arizona,

I came home from a day of work trying to make Arizona a better place to find a bill for health care. This $200+ bill is apparently for blood labs that my PCP ordered. I hadn't had a routine check up in 5+ years and I am 35. I have mild health concerns but mostly just thought it prudent to be checked out since I currently have health insurance. Why wouldn't blood work be covered under my plan?
Because I also recently got billed for a sonogram my OBGYN ordered, I am unable to pay this new bill. Had I known that blood work wouldn't be covered I suppose I would have waited until I paid off the sono bill before getting this work done.
Then again, I might never get my blood run through the lab because after paying $270 a month for my coverage I don't have a lot left over in my budget for additional medical expenses. This makes me wonder about the point of medical insurance but also the wisdom of not covering routine blood work. Let's say my blood work revealed a simple, treatable condition such as anemia or more seriously, high cholesterol. Wouldn't that information help my doctor and I make some decisions about how I take care of myself now before any long term damage occurs? Isn't a bill from the lab cheaper than if I had a blockage that required an ER visit and maybe some surgery?
It's frustrating to pay $270 a month knowing that my employer is also paying into my coverage only to then get bills like this. And, this is in addition to the dental and eye care visits I have to pay for out of pocket. I'm really not sure how people in my 'tax bracket' manage these expenses. I suppose I might be forced to gamble w/o coverage.
Going bankrupt trying to take care of my health while juggling bills on my income is now a real concern of mine. Which is ironic since on your website your tagline is "Live fearless."
I'm also not sure how the upper management and CEO of BC/BS of AZ take home their paychecks and sleep at night. I'd be interested to hear what you think you are providing Arizonans. You must have something you tell yourselves about the good you are doing our community. So, Mr Boals, if you have the time, I'd love a reply.

–Deanna C Chevas

I care about where I live

I am what I call "Locally Grown" in Tucson. That means I am not native, because I was born in Michigan but I celebrated every birthday in Tucson.
A few years ago some friends and I came up with a slogan for Tucson. It didn't really get off the ground then but I think it's time may have come now.
This morning's episode of radio show "Locally Owned with Miguel Ortega" inspired me to dust this idea off. David Mendez, Web Producer for the Tucson Weekly, was the guest and the topic was his recent "rant": A Note To the 'Keep Tucson Shitty' Crowd: You're the Problem.
What this piece is really about is the gentrification of downtown Tucson. Will all the dive bars be replaced by concept restaurants that sell brunch and $12 cocktails? How do Tucsonans feel about this possibility?
Miguel, David and guest barista from Sparkroot, Hansel, discussed possible slogans for Tucson. Like the Keep Austin Weird moniker. Keep Tucson Shitty doesn't really work for me, you? They batted around some other ideas. Keep Tucson for the people who can't afford loft-apartment rents? Nope. Keep Tucson...?

Here's my nomination but I want to give equal credit to Lisette DeMars and Tana Kelch because I don't know exactly how we came up with this but it was a group effort.

Keep Tucson Loca!

Loca is Spanish for crazy but for Tucsonans it also implies funkiness, authenticity, and of course references our strong Hispanic-influenced identity. It's no mistake that with the exclamation point it could easily be read as Keep Tucson Local. Thoughts?

Boy, do I love to eat

So, I have been asked enough times now that I am finally going to post a compliation of my favorite places to eat in Tucson right now. The culinary scene here is rapidly evolving so surely there will be updates needed....

Starting today: Had lunch at Cafe Desta. This Ethiopian restaurant set the tone for a very nice connection with a friend, a tasty meal and a beautiful start to the second half of my day.
I love ethnic food and will try almost anything under the right circumstances. I wasn't terribly adventurous today. I got the lunch special which gives you a choice of three dishes + the spongy flat bread (not like a tortilla nor a crepe. it's thicker and spongy, more like a thin pancake.) called Injera. I chose Fosolia– green beans, carrots and onions simmered in tomato sauce, Tilik-Gomen– cabbage, carrots and potatoes spiced with turmeric, and a beef dish that isn't on the online menu. It was all tasty and satisfying. Very filling, actually. I ate most if it with the Injera as is customary. They even have wet naps on the table.
The place is light and interesting with architectural features like the great north-facing windows and art. The server was adept, quiet and attentive. I never had to ask for anything which was a nice juxtaposition to my experience at a lunch meeting yesterday. There was a patio but no outside seating. This time of year it's too hot out. But, when the weather is nice I can see really enjoying sitting out there.
They also are BYOB. I'll come back in the evening with my favorite brew. Hmmm, what pairs well with Ethiopian food? I'll have to get some guidance on that.

New to Tucson, but not to Arizona, is Diablo Burger. The original is in one of my homes-away-from-home, Flagstaff. They use all grass-fed, Arizona raised beef and know how to cook a
burger. I recommend ordering yours medium. It'll be what other places called medium-rare. I have sampled two varieties one with pesto and a fried egg called DB House. Delish! My favorite, though, because I am partial to green chiles–they use Hatch green chiles, that's right–is The Blake. Oh, and they serve the burgers on English muffins! This idea was introduced to me by another favorite places, Wilko, that I'll talk about later. It's so much better than a big, bready bun!
I hear their grilled cheese is also amazing. And, they have a signature recipe veggie burger called The Netzky. I have vegetarian friends who tell me it's pretty darn good. Diablo Burger is passionate about sourcing locally and that is near and dear to my heart. I believe business can and should do good for all, not just those directly connected.

Another all time favorite is B Line. This cafe has great coffee, good beers on tap, wine by the bottle or glass, amazing biscuits on the weekends (get there early 'cause when they're gone, they're gone), desserts to die for + great breakfast, lunch and dinner menus. I have never had a marginal experience there. It's always good–> great! My favorite is the 1/2 and 1/2 with pesto. It's salad and choice of pasta. The avocado dressing and garlicky pesto are so good! Also, a biscuit sandwich made to order for breakfast is a super treat. Really good green chilies with egg and cheese. Hmmm.

I promised I'd tell you about Wilko. This place is all windows on the corner where the main gate of the University of Arizona is. It has great atmosphere, great cheese and meat boards + good selection of wines, beer and spirits and wonderful burgers, salads and more. It's a place you can sit and nosh and sip and chat for a long time. And you will be well taken care of. These folks love food and it shows. My girlfriends and I have had many a ladies night of great food, drink and company here. The only thing about it that isn't a thumbs up is the televisions. The sound is down but still, it's completely incongruous with the atmosphere that encourages interaction with the servers and each other. Sometimes it's a UA Wildcat game on and sometimes it Scooby-do. Like from the 70's! I guess the nostalgia is okay, but it can be distracting.

Pasco!!! This gem by the University will spin your vinyl! They call it Urban Farm Fare. They use mason jars for water glasses and make drinks with fruit jams and herbs. I recommend the Hemingway, pictured here, and the Father Kino.
The thing I crave that brings me back over and over is the Chef’s Tacos w/heritage pork, served with pico de gallo, drunken beans, shredded cabbage, lime, and cilantro! During happy hour I order two tacos for $5. And these are good sized and tasty!
Also very good are these salads:
Goat Cheese with Herbed Panko and Roasted Beets–Arizona pistachios, organic spring mix, chive vinaigrette, red pepper coulis, poached farm egg
Farmers Market Salad–Organic spring mix, grilled zucchini and squash, onion, garlic crouton, parmesan and red wine vinaigrette
Everything is fresh. The menu is light and healthy while giving your taste buds a party.
Last time I was there (with my Cafe Desta companion) we got dessert. Typically I don't budget for dessert although I love sweets. We got this amazing thing that is like a chocolate-filled doughnut holes. OMG!

Also great for a sweet treat is Hub. Homemade and bizarre, tasty ice creams. They also do brunch and dinner very well and make pretty interesting cocktails morning and night.

Not to be missed is The Little Cafe Poca Cosa. This is not to be confused with Cafe Poca Cosa. Both are excellent. The Little Cafe Poca Cosa is for breakfast and lunch, is cash only, casual and you will get hugged and/or kissed by one of the Davila sisters. They don't take reservations, don't even have a phone. Just go there M-F 7:30 am to 2:30 pm and be prepared for fresh, amazing Mexican food like you have never had. This is not cheesy enchiladas and greasy tacos. This is mole quesadillas, salad and fruit on every plate, cilantro pollo, elote, omg just writing about it! When you go, tell Marcela I said hi. It's downtown, by the main library.

I could go on... but, I won't. I'm running out of steam and you probably are, too. Perhaps I'll do a second edition in the next few days.

Gratitude before we get too far down the road

Me in my Rumi dance shirt from
Fed By Threads

Let me give props to some folks who brought me here. Not but a couple of weeks ago my good, long-time (didn't want to write old) friend Kacey moved me to attend an African dance class at The Movement Shala. This dance, yoga and sometimes photography studio also houses another amazing business, Fed By Threads.
This class was bursting with amazing women, a few men and beautiful energy. Before it got started there were a few conversations and greetings. A woman–darn, I wish I knew her name–mentioned she was going to the World Domination Summit. What?! I want to know more about that! I recognized one name from the list of speakers she mentioned, Danielle LaPorte. I had already signed up to receive Danielle's daily Truthbombs in my inbox.
Once I had some quiet time with the laptop, I searched online for the World Domination Summit and was floored by what I found. This was no nutty, conspiracy theorist convention. This was an organized and professional meeting of creative, courageous, wholehearted people. Right away I signed up to be notified when tickets go on sale for next year's event.
WDS lead me to the mastermind behind the event, Chris Guillebeau. I devoured his book The Art on Non-Conformity in a few days (thank you Pima County Public Library for having the digital download!) before moving onto his $100 Startup.
All of the messages I have been getting from random conversations, the Truthbombs, Chris Brogan's emails (turns out, he spoke at WDS), Chris Guillebeau's books and more have all supported my wish to transform into something more. One of the transforming projects I have in mind is this blog.
So, thank you, Universe. Thank you lady at The Movement Shala. Thank you, Kacey (she's been encouraging me to follow my bliss for a long, long time). Thanks, Chris & Chris and Danielle. Thanks also to my father who passed away last year but who's loving encouragement still rings in my heart and mind. xoxo

On the air

KVOI studios, Tucson

Yesterday I was a guest on a talk radio show. It's important to me that you know this was at the only for-profit independently owned radio station in my city.
"Locally Owned with Miguel Ortega," is a new show by a long time supporter of the Localist movement. Miguel highlights local businesses, community leaders, and local baristas. I would be considered a 'community leader.' It's funny to write that, but it's a pretty good way to describe myself and my work.
Over night my brain was percolating. Although I was 'on the air' for about 30 minutes, in truth we are always on the air. There is no dress rehearsal for life. This is live and you never know what's around the corner.
When I was about 14 years old my father and I were having dinner out and he introduced me to the bartender whom he knew. He used this as a teachable moment and talked about the importance of remembering peoples names and gave me some tricks to help. He told me how being friendly and paying attention to people makes a great impression. At the time I thought, "I'm not going to need these skills. I am shy, introverted and don't intend to be meeting many people."
Never, ever would I have thought that what my dad was teaching me and showing me with his example would contribute greatly to my professional success. Now I am meeting new people all the time, attending lots of events, doing TV interviews and public speaking! I found when I worked in a watch and jewelry repair shop I could pretty easily remember the names of customers and their jewelry. I learned that it helped things go more smoothly and folks really liked it when I saw them coming to pick something up and I sprung into action. They weren't strangers who had to explain why they were there. This left time for friendly chit chat.
Making more personal connections creates a stronger tie. We are social by design. Evolution depended on us helping each other out. When we remember each others names and maybe some detail, we create more meaning in our interactions. In business, its no longer just about collecting business cards and making a pitch to everyone you meet. The new way is to help each other. When I meet business owners I often ask them about their challenges and to describe their ideal client. I am in a position to be a referring partner. So, the more I know, the more I can make suggestions or referrals. This may lead to sales and that's great but it also leads to netweaving as opposed to networking. More on that in a future post.
After the show yesterday I thought of many things I wish I had said. I was on the radio for only 30 minutes but I am 'on the air' all the time. That experience changed the conversation I'll be having. Everything we experience changes our conversation. Notice what you talk about. Notice how you feel about it. Notice what changes the conversation. Maybe influence the conversation purposefully if you want to be thinking and saying something different.

Relaunch, one step

Changing up my blog is one step in my relaunch. It's not step one because evolutions or transformations don't happen for me in a linear, step-by-step fashion.
Many things have influenced this inspiration. First was the death of my father. Next, within a few months was the blow up of my marriage, by the other party. I am just past the year mark for the former and approaching the year mark of the latter. I am starting to get some energy back.
Something about death and grief is life-altering. No, more like thought- or attitude-altering. I just don't think about some things anymore. Many things don't bother me or take up bandwidth in my brain because life is about so much more than the slow, bad driver ahead of me or the long line at the grocery store. Even bigger things like how will I save for retirement or pay for my child's dentist visit just don't keep me up at night anymore.
I don't know the answers. The older I get, the less I feel I know. But I don't care about these worries, they don't have a hold on me. I'm in a figure-it-out-as-I-go phase. For those who have known me a long time, this might sound like a big shift. I was always the planner, the worrier and the one looking ten steps ahead.
With recent traumas and nothing (seemingly) working out as planned, I am more in the moment. I even find it hard to have some conversations because often what people want to talk about is the past or the future. Even a question of what happened during my day can stump me. I can tell you how I feel right now and maybe something will bubble up from my day. But, at this moment I am feeling hopeful, inspired, worn out or sad. I find the more in the moment I am, the more how I feel changes. When I feel what I am feeling and name it, often it resolves itself. For now. Many feelings resurface often. But, I don't run or hide from grief, pain, anger or joy, love and appreciation.
I never meant for this post to become a ramble. I am relaunching this project and a few others in the coming weeks. I hope to chronicle this and inspire you to reconsider how you are spending your time and how you'd like to spend your time.
I have been greatly inspired recently by Chris Guillebeau. If you feel a restlessness or like there must be something more; if you got a college degree or lost a job and are casting about for the next thing; if you have a dream buried deep, check out Chris' site and see where it leads you. He is an authentic, pragmatic thought leader with lots of great resources for anyone feeling like they need something more in life.
Thank you for being there. Please share your thoughts with me. Or connect with me on a platform you use and love.